Monday, 19 September 2011

Guest Post: Gears of Phwoar

Missy E would...

September 20th sees the Midnight Launch of Gears of War 3 across much of the UK.  We at 8brit were contacted by a reader who had her own opinions on how such launches should be handled and in particular what preparations attendees should make before turning up.  Needless to say the somewhat opinionated "Missy E" provided us with these suggestions in written form for us to include here.  So without further ado, Missy E's first guest post:  

The launch date of Gears of War 3 is nearly upon us. I, like many other gamers, can’t
wait to queue up in the cold and wet for a midnight launch. But there is a little voice
inside me telling me not to bother. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not the game reviews, or my
local stockists, that are telling me to stay home. I’m afraid to say it’s the other gamers in
the queue that always put me off attending these launches.

Sadly, we’ve all been there. You know who I mean. There are those in the queue who
rarely emerge in daylight hours, and who live in their clothes for weeks just for the
chance to earn a few extra gamer score points. Well, I’m sorry, but if you wish to
increase your chances of scoring anything at a midnight launch you’ll need to make a
little bit more of an effort. I know that for a very small minority the stickiness of the right
bumper button on their Xbox controller is more important in life than any other type of
stickiness. But, you see, as a girl I have certain standards in bodily hygiene which some
gamers fail to realise.

I don’t expect much. I don’t expect everyone to smell (or look) like the Old Spice
man, although fortunately some gamer guys do. Equally, there’s no need to dress like
a penguin in that old tuxedo your mum bought you for your school prom; although it is
true that secretly a few of us gamer chicks are hoping to find their James Bond. Let’s face
it, at this launch all of us are looking for our very own Marcus Fenix to take home. I’m
just of the opinion that checking the condition of my controller before leaving the house
should be more important than checking to see which way the wind is blowing.

So let’s get together at midnight on September 20th for all the right reasons. For one night only –
how can I say this kindly – please wash; and you never know who you’ll end up scoring

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